Later, this would be a sticking point whenever I recounted the story. There was no distress call-I never issued one. I managed to step into the void, barely cocooned in my suit.īeing picked up by the Lost Countrymen’s ship was pure luck. It was all going to burn, and either I would let it go or sit there and burn, too. Film history flashed before my eyes, because I guess directors like to embody their visual clichés: Cinema Paradiso and the blinded Alfredo Citizen Kane’s self-destructed negative the 1937 Fox vault fire and all of its 40,000 reels, gone in a god-like blaze. The reels should simply have never been on the ship. After the fire started, there was no question of putting it out, despite my suppression system’s efforts. I’d only brought out a few cans, but the rest were in close proximity, my craft being very small. Or maybe I dreaded filming The Many Twilights enough that, somewhere deep down, I thought a disaster was my only way out. I remember my vision for that sequence, too: the noxious valleys traversing someone’s kitchen-sink drama, the oceanic rifts yawning between dance partners in a filmed ballet. I wanted to see it, handle it it’s part of my process, the tactile danger of it all. I was thinking about the opening sequence, which would incorporate scraps of decomposing film base from old reels. The environment in my craft is carefully controlled (I realize I still speak about it in the present-a man is allowed his wishful thinking at least once daily, is he not?), but it’s so easy to miss something. I knew I shouldn’t have been messing with the nitrate film while in transit. No matter how many times I’ve tried to puzzle out what, precisely, went wrong, I couldn’t, and nobody has been able to tell me. I hadn’t quite worked out how I’d face her again, let alone direct her. Besides, I knew Maria would be great for the role, and the art has always been above everything else for me, or that’s what I’d always told myself. But it would be wrong Twilights was as much her brainchild as it was mine. I could have gone back on my word directors have been known to break off contracts for less, especially male ones, and I was by then sufficiently considered one of those that I would probably have been afforded the allowances usually made to men. In fact, the idea for it had emerged years back, when we were working together on Mandibles. Falda I’d hired her long before our fight. It would be my first film after the success of Mandibles, so a lot was riding on it. I was on my way to the Cannesite Alderson Disk to begin filming the outdoor scenes for The Many Twilights of Dr. Keep her from slipping away, my very own silver ghost: Rosha. How I wished for a device to commit her to memory then. What choice do I have? My camera had been lost to me. It’s been years since my brief time with them, but how could I forget them, the ghosts muttering to themselves about worlds long gone? Eyes starry wide, dreaming of a future Earth that would receive their children the way the old one never did.Ībove all, I remember her, or at least I do my best. I never thought I’d want to make a film about the Lost Countrymen and the ghosts that haunt their ship.
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